The pages of this website are a tribute and memorial to my precious daughter,
Sara Victoria Koski
February 4, 1999 ~ July 16, 2000
“Those we love are with the Lord, and the Lord has promised to be with us. If they are with Him, and He is with us, they cannot be far away.” –Peter Marshall
For 17 months the Lord loaned me the most precious gift a parent could have, a child, my beautiful Sara. And though the time was very brief, I feel priviledged that He picked me, for her to call mom. Her short 17 months on earth were indeed the best months of my life and nothing will ever take the place of my Bitter, Sweet Memories. Twelve years ago I never thought that I would make it through the loss of my sweet baby girl, nor did I even want to. The excruciating pain was so unbearably overwhelming. It consumed my entire being: mentally, physically and spiritually. Aside from the aching of my completely shattered heart and the many oceans of tears that I have cried, my memories of the first few years are very vague (except for the most beautiful people I’ve ever known that God placed in my life to walk with me on this endless journey.) I sheltered myself from the world I once knew and tried my hardest to roll over and die. I was amazed each morning that I was still alive as I was certain God would not allow me to suffer another day knowing how broken and empty her death had left me. I must be in someone else’s nightmare, I was sure of it. I was dying inside and nobody knew it but me.
Two weeks after the funeral I received a letter from a couple whom I had met a few years before Sara died. I remembered hearing about their son drowning almost 2 years prior to my daughter’s drowning. The letter was one I’ll never forget and the words “you will smile again….one day” are the words I held on to for dear life. I could not comprehend them at the time but after meeting with them and sharing memories of our children together I knew they were not just empty words spoken and I knew they knew my pain. They felt mine and I felt theirs. I also knew The Word of God and His Promises. I’m so grateful to my parents and Grandmother for bringing me up in church where I was taught how much I am loved by the Lord. It’s only through His Grace and Love that I am here today… Alive. God’s Love never fails us. He carries me through this endless journey they call grief and His Promise says that I will see her again, one sweet day. That is my comfort & the very strength that keeps me going.
Sara’s name means “Princess”. I knew before she took her first breath that she would be my Princess. Her middle name, Victoria speaks for its’ self. My Sweet Sara is now God’s Princess and she has all the Victory. She left this cruel world, pure and immaculate, never knowing pain or the many evils that you and I have met. She also left very much loved and missed by her family, friends and even strangers. In just 17 short months, God’s Princess touched and changed our lives. For me, I’ll never be the same… A huge part of me died with her. Not a day passes by that I don’t think of her and miss her terribly and there are still moments that my grief consumes me and the pain burns deep into my heart and soul, bringing me to my knees. Yet time refuses to stand still and life continues to go on…. So, I learned to smile again, to laugh again and through the pain, I even learned to dance again. There will always be a massive hole in my heart that can never be filled. But as long as I live, Sara shall continue to live, forever, in my heart and soul. I use to hold her while dancing in circles, singing the very song you are listening to by LeeAnn Womack, “I Hope You Dance,” but I know, from the Heavens above, my Sara sings this song to me.
S is for Sara – God’s Princess Taught us Love A is for Angel – She was sent from up Above R is for Rainbows – So Beautiful and Bright A again for Angel – For Ours lives In the Light